I love to hear testimonies. You know, life-changing stories. Real life stories of people who have experienced forgiveness, redemption, and love through Christ. I get excited because each story reminds me of my own renewal, my second, and third, and fourth...chances to become the woman God intended me to be. I’m not there yet, but the hope that lives within me carries me through each new day!
The parable of the prodigal son provides a loose framework to my own testimony. The details are not critical in the context of today’s musing. Suffice to day that I didn’t get a big inheritance and party it out, but I did make poor choices. Many poor choices. I was pregnant and married at age nineteen, divorced with two children within a few years. The greener relationship-grass I moved onto had more weeds than I imagined. In fact, I think I came to accept that I did not deserve much more than weeds.
Thank you, God, for reminding me this past weekend that we do not always get what we deserve, but we surely do get what we need!
I had the privilege to serve and visit in a local community this past weekend, alongside some of my C3 church members, as part of Project 919, Adopt-a-Block. This community, by and large, is composed of lower income residents. Single mothers, fathers, elderly, handicapped, employed, and unemployed. People. People who need people. People who need to see Jesus on the streets.
Why am I going on about this neighborhood? I was once one of “those people”. I used to live in a very similar setting, as a single mom of two children. As I spent time in this neighborhood this past weekend, so many memories rushed back. The humility of shopping for clothes in the flea market, buying dented cans of soup and boxes of cereal at the Salvage Grocery store, reduced school lunches, an address in the “section eight” neighborhood often made me feel less valuable or important. I wanted so much more for myself and my children.
I thought I wanted to forget that I ever lived with less than, but I realize that time in my life is part of my testimony. Part of what has made me the woman I am today. It reminds me how much more God always has in store! I have smiled quite a bit during the past few days, as I remember the excitement in my kids eyes when I came back with brand name clothes from the flea market. They were excited to get boxes and boxes of Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios, cans of Chef Boyardee pasta—regardless of the dented cans. We all looked forward to the one night a week when we splurged on Little Caesar’s pizza. It’s funny how I now see that our joy was more sweet when we had less.
God has been patient with me. He has brought me into a land of plenty compared to earlier years. Although a bit of a slow learner, I’ve learned to seek more of Him and less of me and He has given me more than I could have asked or imagined.
There was a young daughter who hadn’t a clue
She made mistakes by the dozens—
so many days would she rue.
A babe on the way by the end of her teens
La—no worries—on with the dreams
Of white picket fences and a flowery yard,
Two brown-eyed children—
A picture post-card.
Dreams take too long,
You deserve more than this
She heard in her head;
“Start over, selfish said,
Live but once, then you’re dead!”
Paycheck to paycheck
Second-hand was first choice
Yet, hope was the internal song
to which she still gave voice
Still, her happy tied to people, places, and things
Daughter forgot her Father, the King.
In the world she did wander, seeking the way
That would come
if only
She would remember to pray.
Her mother did bend Almighty God’s ear:
"Blessing and favor on this daughter of mine
Low she may go, Father God, hold her near”.
And then Love swept low
Caught her breath
Gave new life
To this daughter, mother, the renewed wife.
K. Driggers, 2015
“There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well.”
