Dry Bones

My bones were once soooo dry. Achy, brittle and unable to support me, I often stumbled or fell. Some days I felt as if I could not stand. So I didn’t. I would lie down in the dust of my misery, as if waiting for my soul to continue the path of decay so that I would no longer - feel.

How did these dry bones of mine come to life? Take a couple of moments to listen to this beautiful song by Laura Daigle....

You see, I was like the prodigal daughter, the wayward son, believing the lies that kept me from rising up to be who God created me to be. My spirit was weak. My heart was weak. I had given my will to the winds and whims of the world so that I was drained. Dry. 

But dry things do come to life. You see it as the rain drenches sun-parched ground and the grass and flowers spring back to life. I felt it happen as I chose to drag myself to God’s house, to read His Word, to connect with life-giving people who have become my sisters and brothers in Christ. I found hope and it began to rebuild the layers of strength, confidence, and belief that I thought had died. I just needed someone to speak life into me. For God to breathe life —and I, to inhale. 

And until recently, I thought my bone density was just about right. But, while attending a prayer conference last weekend (Living in Freedom Every Day) sponsored by the Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, AL, I realized that I had not yet reached my saturation point! After returning from such a life-changing event, I decided to acknowledge all that God has done for me. This past weekend, I recommitted myself publicly to God - bones and all - through baptism at my home church ( #c3church #c3whitechristmas) !

My bones have now been soaked—saturated with the Holy Spirit. 

I am called to do all that I can to help others rise out of the ashes.  To pray and proclaim that dry bones will come to life. And I can now step into any valley, unafraid.

We know that there is more to come
That we may not yet see
So with the faith you’ve given us
We’ll step into the valley unafraid

Dry Bones Come Alive

Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. 

Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

Ezekiel 37:4 - 6

When Less Became More

I love to hear testimonies. You know, life-changing stories. Real life stories of people who have experienced forgiveness, redemption, and love through Christ.  I get excited because each story reminds me of my own renewal, my second, and third, and fourth...chances to become the woman God intended me to be. I’m not there yet, but the hope that lives within me carries me through each new day!

The parable of the prodigal son provides a loose framework to my own testimony. The details are not critical in the context of today’s musing. Suffice to day that I  didn’t get a big inheritance and party it out, but I did make poor choices. Many poor choices.  I was pregnant and married at age nineteen, divorced with two children within a few years. The greener relationship-grass I moved onto had more weeds than I imagined. In fact, I think I came to accept that I did not deserve much more than weeds.

Thank you, God, for reminding me this past weekend that we do not always get what we deserve, but we surely do get what we need! 

I had the privilege to serve and visit in a local community this past weekend, alongside some of my C3 church members, as part of Project 919, Adopt-a-Block. This community, by and large, is composed of lower income residents. Single mothers, fathers, elderly, handicapped, employed, and unemployed. People. People who need people. People who need to see Jesus on the streets.

Why am I going on about this neighborhood? I was once one of “those people”. I used to live in a very similar setting, as a single mom of two children. As I spent time in this neighborhood this past weekend, so many memories rushed back. The humility of shopping for clothes in the flea market, buying dented cans of soup and boxes of cereal at the Salvage Grocery store, reduced school lunches, an address in the “section eight” neighborhood often made me feel less valuable or important. I wanted so much more for myself and my children.

I thought I wanted to forget that I ever lived with less than, but I realize that time in my life is part of my testimony.  Part of what has made me the woman I am today. It reminds me how much more God always has in store! I have smiled quite a bit during the past few days, as I remember the excitement in my kids eyes when I came back with brand name clothes from the flea market. They were excited to get boxes and boxes of Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios, cans of Chef Boyardee pasta—regardless of the dented cans. We all looked forward to the one night a week when we splurged on Little Caesar’s pizza. It’s funny how I now see that our joy was more sweet when we had less.

God has been patient with me. He has brought me into a land of plenty compared to earlier years. Although a bit of a slow learner, I’ve learned to seek more of Him and less of me and He has given me more than I could have asked or imagined. 

There was a young daughter who hadn’t a clue

She made mistakes by the dozens—

so many days would she rue.

A babe on the way by the end of her teens

La—no worries—on with the dreams

Of white picket fences and a flowery yard,

Two brown-eyed children—

A picture post-card.

Dreams take too long, 

You deserve more than this

She heard in her head;

“Start over, selfish said,

Live but once, then you’re dead!”

Paycheck to paycheck

Second-hand was first choice

Yet, hope was the internal song

to which she still gave voice

Still, her happy tied to people, places, and things

Daughter forgot her Father, the King.

In the world she did wander, seeking the way

That would come

if only 

She would remember to pray.

Her mother did bend Almighty God’s ear:

"Blessing and favor on this daughter of mine

Low she may go, Father God, hold her near”.

And then Love swept low

Caught her breath

Gave new life

To this daughter, mother, the renewed wife.

K. Driggers, 2015

“There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well.” 

― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

18, 980 days and counting....

51 years, 18,980 days....I won't try to figure the hours and seconds - that is math, after all.

I don’t think I’ve lived up to the “old lady” image I conjured up as a child, but, pretty sure one day I will. I will look in the mirror and want to run straight to the tailor and ask that my birthday suit be taken in and hemmed up! I will want to try out my granny’s nighttime Vaseline face regimen. The part of Karen that the world measures against its standards of worth and beauty will one day disappoint. But, God looks at the heart, wherein lies true beauty and eternal hope.



So, you get it - yesterday marked 51 years of Karen. Happy Birthday to me? For some reason, at the end of the day, I felt a bit sad. As if the day held no real significance. It was as if turning 50 had been better! I mean, that was an age that has its own section in the greeting card aisles. People marveled at such a number. "Wow, you look great for 50!" Lots of milestone cards and congrats.


Who decides on milestones?  Like the ones on the interstate highways. What about the miles in between? They aren't that important? Why don't they get a special sign?


And what happens between the ages of 51 and 60?

God only knows. He does not reveal to us the number of days we will have on this earth. But I can decide how I will spend each one of the 1440 minutes/86,400 seconds I have in one day (had to google that).  Will I waste them feeling angry, resentful, jealous, spiteful, or indifferent? Or will I spend each one as if it is my last, encouraging others, lending my time and resources, saying thank you, I  love you, I forgive you… will you forgive me?

Wisdom of the heart. That is what I pray will grow exponentially within me each passing day. Hopefully, my suit-size won't expand as well. But, as I begin the decade-long slide into the next Hallmark Card milestone, I want to remember to number my days. Not as an age-marker, measuring how much time I've lost, or might have left. I want to consciously look at each day as an opportunity for God to enlarge and soften my heart, expand my mind, and intentionally show love and kindness to everyone I meet.

"Teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom."  - Psalm 90:12

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Congratulations!

Today is your day!

You’re off to great places!

Today is your day!

So, said Dr. Seuss in his wonderful poem, Oh, The Places You Will Go.

And so says God when you say, “I surrender, Lord!”
Just a little over two years ago, I loosened my grip on the world - or I slipped out of the grip of the world, I should say. I let God know I was finally on board with whatever plan He had for me. And He has stretched me and blessed me ever since.
Tomorrow afternoon I will board a plan to Greece to work with people who are on a mission to bring freedom to victims of human trafficking. That thought is sobering and scary; but, it also encouraging. Because I am not just talking, I am doing!
As I think about what potentially lies ahead, I also think about what I have left behind.  I feel so grateful when I think of the places through which God has brought me, as well as hopeful and excited for all that lies ahead—because I DECIDED to trust Him and became willing to do whatever it takes to be close to Him. No longer was I waiting for life to happen to me—I am seeking life.

I have found that when I trust in God, He never fails. He knows the desires of my heart and is bringing things to pass, according to His purpose, in His time. I yearned for love and acceptance and he led me to my husband two years ago. I yearned for self-confidence and respect and He has led me to positions of leadership, relationships where I can encourage, and given me wisdom to help others. He has given me the strength and ability to finish my college degree, a dream I had almost buried. 

In each of us, lies unlimited potential and plans. Maybe not the plans we mapped out—no; they are far more than we can imagine because they are divined by God! God has SO MUCH MORE for each of us, more than we can imagine. If we use the wisdom and talents He has given us, if we will our feet to move forward, our hands to reach out— we will find freedom on a road !

Where will God take you?

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you” (Deuteronomy 31:8, NLT)

Temptation and the 5-Second Rule

I love peanut m&ms. I mean, I love them so much that I could consume an entire XXL bag if I just let myself go. And yesterday, I probably would have been tempted to do so; but, the good Lord gave me a way out through my innate clumsiness.

My daughter is an elementary school teacher. And at the end of the year she often receives gifts of appreciation from her students/parents. One student gave her a XXL bag of peanut m&ms, which she so thoughtfully offered to me. Wisdom and experience told me to say, “No, thank you. I am trying to lose a few pounds”. But the foolish me said, “yummy!”, thinking I would only eat a few at a time, over several days. And as soon as I ripped open that bag, the pea-nutty, chocolaty smell began to melt my resolve. One handful. Oh, maybe one more. Well, I was going upstairs to work out; so, maybe a few more for energy....

As I grabbed another handful and turned away, I accidentally tipped the top of the bag and a rainbow of m&ms began to pour from table to floor. My first thought:  Five-second rule! (Don’t tell me you have not been tempted to use this rule before: Drop it—and if it is on the floor for less than five seconds—it’s all good!)  

“Oh, there’s a piece that doesn’t have floor on it!”

I scrambled to pick up a few; but, quickly realized that even the five-second rule wouldn’t help me salvage these babies. I had not vacuumed the floors in several days; so, mixed in with the candy were tufts of hair from our three large mixed-breed dogs, Asher, Toby, and Tori. 

Temptation urged me to sweep them all up and blow off the hair. But I stopped. I thought about the Apostle Paul’s own admission:

I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate (Romans 7:15, NLT). 

How many times have I done things that I knew I should not, some much worse than gorging on m&ms, and then wallowed in guilt and shame for having given into temptation? As silly as it sounds, God provided a teaching moment here:  I can choose to do right. He always provides a way out if I keep close enough in relationship to Him to recognize it. 

I swept up the m&ms—and dumped them straight into the garbage. And I felt victorious. And instead of thinking, “Dang it, why I am so clumsy?”, I thanked God for allowing me the klutzy moment that helped me recognize and overcome my temptation.

So, my big victory is in not eating m&ms? Actually, it’s just a sign of continued victory in Jesus. A few years ago, before I really began to walk closely with God, I would have rinsed off the m&ms, ate them, and then, filled with guilt, would have spent about 30 minutes hunched over a toilet trying to throw them back up.  You see, I struggled with bulimia nervosa. 

The real struggle however, was not so much with a desire for food, as it was the need to fill a void in my life. For years I filled that void with the comfort of food (and other things—but that is another story, for  another day and another blog)—until I found that the Holy Spirit satisfied me more than anything on earth ever could. 

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Corinthians 10:13, NLT).

The devil may know our weaknesses, those things that tempt us to lead us down wrong paths, mess with our minds and bodies; but, so does God. Satan is cunning. He can tempt us; but, he is not omniscient. He is not God. I have learned that the closer I walk with God, become familiar with His ways and His words, I see the way out clearer than before. And faster than “five seconds”.

Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 peter 5:8, WEB)

It's Not You - It's Me. Really.

As a Seinfeld fan, I simultaneously laugh and cringe at the comments made by the character, George Costanza.  Who really thinks like George, let alone, shares those kind of thoughts—using their out loud voice?

Me. And I bet you, too. It’s not you, it’s me—what a great line. I can lay claim to what I really think is wrong with a situation or  another person—not me. But “it” often IS about you (me).

Thought for the week: Be conscious of what you believe to be true. Life is not about me or you. We are in this world together, but [for the most part] I can only control what I do, say, think, or feel. My feelings of happiness, perceptions of success or failure, and levels of self-esteem are within my control. I choose how to feel, react or not react, to any given situation or person. So, if I feel unhappy at work, with my family or friends, my weight, my finances—whatever the situation—how I feel REALLY has nothing to do with you—it’s me.

I hate to admit it; but, George’s circular reasoning actually makes sense.

10 May 2015

Wisdom in the Wrinkles

I remember my gramma had—gramma skin. You know the kind, when you pull on the elbow skin it stays suspended in the air and then sloowwwly sinks back into crepe-papery place. I remember, as young girl, lying down to take a nap with my gramma, stroking her face, pulling on her elbow skin. I asked her if my skin would be like that one day. She laughed her soft little laugh and told me it would be a long time before that happened.

Time flies, doesn’t it? Here I am, fifty years old, probably not too much younger than gramma was at that time, and I find that there are places other than my elbows that are not as springy as they used to be!  For years, I tied my sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love to the vibrant beauty of youth. Perhaps I chose to believe that the pull of time would not catch up with me.  But it has. My bones complain and muscles whine when I tax them with the tasks that once came so easily. Restaurants with ambient lighting are out of the question if I have forgotten my reading glasses.  And it is probably time to admit that these I’ve aged out of the mini-skirt (unless it is a golf skirt!).

Pictures hold a thousand words and thoughts.  I look at this last “generational” photo of me, my daughter, mother, and grandmother. You can look at the four of us and quickly pick out the most beautiful—my daughter! But who has the most beautiful heart? Whose soul has the most peace? Whose heart is closer to God’s? Who’s soul sings with more peace? The older I get, the more sure I become that the loss of elasticity of skin is replaced by a tightening bond with God, the most beautiful thing one can have. 

Where does that leave me? A few short years ago, I would have said that I would fight to keep the sexy on, to use face and form to feel worthy of a place in this world. Because I did not know I had anything else to offer. 

Gramma put Vaseline on her face every night. Mom was on a first name basis with the lady at Merle Norman Cosmetics. And I continue to sample everything in my monthly Birchbox.  However, the grace of God and the wisdom He grants me have now become my makeup, my perfume, and my confidence. I am clothed in righteousness. I am more than beautiful in my Father’s eyes. Psalm 92:12-15, (ESV) promises that I have all that I need:

The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. 

Woodstock and Wisdom

3 May 2015 - The April showers brought the May flowers, sunshine, spring clothes, gaggles of people at the home improvement and garden stores....What else? BABY BIRDS! Little Snoopy friends! 

I have been stalking a nest of Killdeer eggs for several weeks and am excited to say that 3 of the 4 little guys pecked their way out into the world this weekend! I spent a good portion of today (I have the redneck sunburn to prove it) following them around the yard, watching mom and dad trying to keep their curious and clumsy crowd safe and accounted for.

How do you break out of your shell?

A brother is born for adversity! Stick by those who are a little slow....

As I watched nature at work, I could not help but be reminded that God has given all of His creation exactly what they need: “Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young-- a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God” (Psalm 84:3, NIV). “If a bird sees a trap being set, if knows to stay away” (Proverbs 1:17, NLT).

God’s creatures set about their daily routines without a worry or thought about what will happen tomorrow because God has blessed with the instinct and knowledge they need. No worries about being too fat, too old; a need to be prettier, smarter, the richest—nature does not seek to be any more than God created it to be.  

And God created you and me. He designed us, His beloved children,in His own image. He gave us something more than He did the birds of the air, the fish in the sea, or the beasts in the fields and forest. We are designed to be in relationship with Him and with one another. We can go to God and ask—in faith—and believe that we will receive His best for our lives. That makes us even more amazing than anything you will see on a National Geographic special. 

Yet, while we have instincts, intelligence,gifts, and talents that will help us to survive—and do more than just thrive in this world—we do not all have wisdom.  Rather, we do not always ask for or seek wisdom, relying instead, on our own understanding.  We sometimes think we know how to do it all on our own, are smarter than our parents or teachers, or care only for our own immediate gratification. Question: How is that working for you? How many of you have, like me, have said, with a mouthful of regret, “If only I had....?”

... Used the wisdom that God made available to me: In His written Word. Through the guidance of my parents and grandparents. Through the testimony of prodigal sons and daughters... I can listen to my gut, listen to my heart, listen to my head; but, if I am not listening to God, asking for His wisdom, I am a fool. 

“But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm” (Proverbs 1:33, NLT).

Who says Angels don’t go shopping?

20 April 2015

Saturdays are for getting things done. I always have a Saturday list. And I love to cross things off that list. It makes me feel like I am making progress. I don’t know about y’all; but, I feel like there is so much to do and so little time. Honestly—and with some embarrassment—I admit that I sometimes see people I know and pretend I don’t—just because I don’t want to lose my momentum. (Oh, no—there is that lady from down the street. She is going to talk my head off. Let me look super busy by checking my iPhone).

This past Saturday, my demanding scrap of Saturday-paper landed me at Michael’s. I planned to just run in and grab something for my latest home project. Shouldn’t take but a minute. Ha - you crafters know I was only fooling myself! I was almost to the register when I spied something on a shelf. Laden down with picture frames, spray paint, and decorative items, I struggled to fit yet one more item in my arms. 

As I shifted items around, I heard a voice ask me if I needed any help. I looked over and saw a young man standing a few feet away, holding a vase in his hands. He asked me again if he could help me carry anything.

“Oh, no - I’m good. I am just about to head to the register. But, thank you!”, I said. I knew I needed to get going now.

“Are, are you having a blessed day?”

That stopped me in my tracks. I don’t know that I really had thought much about the kind of day I was having. But something pulled at me to let him know that it was a good day. “I certainly am. I hope you are”,  I said with a smile. 

And he smiled. The biggest, most joyful smile I have ever seen. And then he looked at me and told me that God loves me and that I am special.

Special. He wanted me to know that I AM SPECIAL IN GOD’S EYES. He wanted me to know I am loved. This young man, I realized, was likely labeled by the world as a special needs person.  Yet, his spirit sang of such fulfillment that it washed over me so that I truly felt blessed. Not faux-blessed, like the feel-good terms we throw around so much: “have a blessed day” “bless your heart” ....

My Saturday blessing has a name. His name is James. And James just loves people. He wants to be a fireman so that he can help people. And he loves to go to church. He was so excited to go to church on Sunday. (I don’t know that I have ever felt that much excitement when my alarm goes off on a Sunday morning.) His face practically glowed as we talked about our churches and our love for God. He asked me my name and promised he would pray for me. And I promised to pray for him. And I have.

I can’t stop thinking about how many people James may have blessed this weekend—on any given day—just by being the love of God instead of talking about it.  I am glad that I did not let my list get in the way of a blessing that I know was heaven-sent. I am glad that I allowed kindness and care to replace the usual hustle and bustle of my life. While I may have been worthy of his kindness, I may have missed on out James, unaware, in my own busy world.

Was James an angel, catching me unaware in Michael’s? It would be nice to think so. I think he is a very special young man, one who happens to be after God’s own heart. He just goes to the stores so he can tell people how much God loves them. But, like many a man, he confessed that he doesn’t really like to shop. 

You may not meet an angel; but, you can be an angel for someone.


“And do not forget kindness to strangers, for by this, some who, while they were unaware, were worthy to receive Angels.” - Hebrews 13:2 (Aramaic Bible)